Around the World 9 - Kielbasa & Cheese - Great Kielbasa, Not Enough of It

I am going Around the World on Primantis menu, eating every sandwich, in order.

Ninth, and through the left half of the menu, is the Kielbasa & Cheese. Oddly enough I was asked about this sandwich when I brought an out-of-town first-timer to Primantis. Unfortunately, I didn't know if this was any good. Now I know, it is, and you'll want more of it.

There is goodness within.

I have an interesting relationship with kielbasa. I like it, but many times the casing on it is far too thick, and trying to rip through it often ruins the experience for me.  That was no problem here.

The kielbasa's flavor is bold and noticed right away. It's so smoky and zesty, and there is a nice savoriness to it, too. It's a very good kielbasa, better than what I've had in the past. Truly delicious.

Leaning tower of Primantis.

As you can see in there, even when it's sliced in half, the kielbasa doesn't cover enough area to reach the ends of the bread. There's an awful lot of bites that is nothing but bread, coleslaw, and french fries. You want more of that flavor, because it's so freaking good, but you can't get it, because it's so limited.

But it's not spicy, oh no, not at all. It's different than the hot sausage in that way, which is far bolder and rather in-your-face. The smoky flavor of kielbasa sits back and lets you come to it.

That's the only real detraction. I don't know that double meat would fix it, because if it were piled on top, it wouldn't change the area it covers, only the thickness. You'd have to ask if they can spread it out a bit, so you get some kielbasa in every bite, and I don't know if that's possible. 

That ceiling on flavor improvement keeps it from surpassing the Pittsburgher, but if you can fix that, it'll be nipping at capicola's heels.

Taste: 10  That flavor, when you get all the pieces, is amazing. Smoky zest and deliciousness.

Satisfaction: 6  I wish so badly that there was more kielbasa, and not thickness, I want it all over the bread to be included in every bite.

Flavor: 9 It takes a hit for those bites that had no meat.

Enjoyable: 6 That frustration of meatless bites makes you very familiar with the coleslaw and bread.

Pittsburghness: 10 Can you get a more Picksburgh n'at meat than kielbasa? It's hard not to say it like Myron Cope, who said it phonetically, rather than the proper way of "ki-bossy".

Should I Get This Sandwich? Yes. Or at least you should certainly consider it. The flavor is great. See if you can solve my surface area problem, and then let me know how you did it. 

Ranking:

Capicola

Pittsburgher Cheese Steak

Kielbasa

Hot Sausage

Genoa Salami (Double Meat)

Jumbo Baloney

Triple Cheese

Ham

Egg

Around the World 8 - Capicola & Cheese - The Best.

I am going Around the World on the Primantis menu, eating every sandwich, in order.

Capicola! Finally! Wonderfully delicious and robust in every way, this is the benchmark of sammich meats.

Underneath all that is heaven.

I am surprised by how many people don't know what capicola is. If you've ever heard an overzealous Italian stereotype raving about food and they said "gabagoooool", this is what they're raving about. Simply put, it's a spiced ham. That's not "spicy ham", it has a nice zing to it and you get a little heat on the tongue, but I don't think anybody would call it spicy. Apparently the preparation process is very different from that of ham, but that's what you really need to know about it. 

This is Capicola. Look at that wonderful marbling.

Look at it! That's art!

Years ago, I was listening to local radio station WDVE and their comedy sketches from their morning show, which features a lot of local flavor. One of them, I do believe it was CSI: Pittsburgh, and one of the characters mentioned eating a capicola and egg sandwich. I decided to try it one day, and I never looked back.

Perhaps the best example of Pittsburghese out there.

This particular sammich doesn't have the egg, but it's still superior. 

The flavor is truly superior. You get that little bit of heat, and it's a slow heat, you feel it on your tongue halfway through a good bite, and it's just enough to make itself known. It's bold, but it isn't in-your-face. Then the coleslaw cools it down. It's a perfect compliment. If you go too quickly, you could miss it. But you shouldn't, because this is a flavor profile worth lingering for.

The savoriness is there, too. It's a ham, and it has nice marbling, so you get all the savory benefits of a really good ham. Include the french fries, and there's all the body you need in a sammich. There's everything you need there.

Taste: 9 The flavor is perfect. Add an egg, and you enhance that profile, which would make it a 10.

Satisfaction: 8 Sometimes you don't get as much capicola as you'd like. Not usually worth getting double meat, most times you get enough. But some cooks get stingy.

Flavor: 10  The meat's flavor is superb, and then you get the coleslaw complimenting it.

Enjoyable: 10 You have to try it.

Pittsburghness: 8  Yeah, it doesn't scream Pittsburgh, but an Italian spiced ham is pretty good.

Should I Get This Sandwich? Yes! Yes absolutely! Get it with an egg to make it even better!

Ranking:

Capicola

Pittsburgher Cheese Steak

Hot Sausage

Genoa Salami (Double Meat)

Jumbo Baloney

Three Cheese

Ham

Egg

Around the World 7 - Ham & Cheese - Pure Disappointment

I am going Around the World on the Primantis menu, eating every sandwich, in order.

Seventh is the Ham & Cheese. What a staple of sandwiches, an absolute classic, and Pittsburgh has a unique history with ham, because we like to have it chipped.

It tastes so much better than it looks.

Chipped Ham is when you take a pressed ham, which is a very processed meat, taking lots of irregular pieces of ham and forcing it all together and binding it into a single slab of meat. It's very popular in old timey ethnic European neighborhoods, especially among Slavic communities. So you take that pressed ham, and you have it shaved, or as it's said in Pittsburgh, chipped. That's slicing it as thin as you possibly can. So thin it's translucent. It starts to rip really easily and the amount of surface area involved enhances the flavor in ways that deny explanation. It's delicious and savory and filling, and great. I've tried to get it in other cities, even when you can find Isaly's pressed ham, but nobody understands why you'd get ham sliced so thin, and they usually struggle to slice it as thinly as you'd like it to be, because they think it's a mistake, but it isn't and when you can get the real stuff, it's great.

So imagine my disappointment when I found the extremely bland ham at Primantis.

I also forgot to get it on the heel. It only made it worse.

There was no flavor there at all. You got a touch more salt because it's ham, but there was no other flavor to it. It might as well have been the egg sandwich again, it was that disappointing.

Behold disappointment.

This was not even a disappointment because there was not enough meat. There wasn't a weak flavor that I wanted more of, there was no flavor at all. Just coleslaw and french fries and the sensation that I was chewing meat, but couldn't taste it. 

I really enjoy ham sandwiches, too. Those post-Christmas and post-Easter leftover ham sandwiches are great. Tear a few pieces off a spiral sliced ham and throw them on bread and you have a good meal. Hell, I like just pulling a peace off and eating it as is. This sandwich failed to capture any of that.

Total disappointment. There was nothing positive to say. It wasn't awful. But it had no flavor. It was pointless.

Taste: 3 It's not there. Might as well get it without meat. I didn't hate it, but it was pointless.

Satisfaction: 3 Disappointment, but it was more satisfying than the Egg and Cheese.

Flavor: 0 It wasn't there. Pointless.

Enjoyable: 2 Why bother?

Pittsburghness: 0 There should be a Chipped Ham Sandwich. THERE SHOULD BE CHIPPED HAM!

Should I Get This Sandwich? No. Under no circumstances is this worth your time.

Ranking:

Pittsburgher Cheese Steak

Hot Sausage

Genoa Salami (Double Meat)

Jumbo Baloney

Three Cheese

Ham

Egg

A Stupid Change - Stabbed Sammiches

For as long as I can remember, Primanti Brothers sandwiches were always featured cut in half, with that wonderful profile displayed for all to see.

I've always figured that the profile was so important, that clean-cut through the middle gives you a much better look at all of the components of the sandwich. It almost towers over the plate when it's cut in half. 

But recently, there's been a major change.

That has been reflected in how they serve the sandwiches, and it drives me absolutely bonkers.

Instead of cutting it in half, giving you a nice clean cut where you see that wonderful profile, they give you a sandwich that's been stabbed in the back like it's Julius Caesar, and you have to cut it yourself. 

Give me a chore, why don't ya?! 

I didn't come here for a some-assembly-required meal, I want it done when I get the plate! Beyond that, whatever cut you are going to make with that steak knife they give you is going to be worse than the nice clean cut of the chefs' knives. It's going to look far far worse. It also introduces silverware that has been previously completely unnecessary. It's food you eat with your hands. You don't need any silverware...oh wait, now everyone needs a knife.

Now I've been used to asking my server to bring my sandwich already cut. If you get your sandwich on the heel, it has always been served as one big piece. I've always liked that little halftime that happens in the middle of the sandwich, it gives you a breather, it makes you take a moment to appreciate your sammich, it provides a thoroughly necessary pause. So I've asked for my sandwich to come "on the heel, cut in half" for a long time now. But now it's necessary for everyone, and those who don't know suddenly get their sandwich with a chore. 

I've been alright with the switch from paper cups to plastic...maybe it saves some trees and they don't have to haul in cases and cases of cups...and there was that one time I watched three consecutive hockey playoff games and I had to be given a new cup because the paper was nearly completely collapsed. I've been ok with the switch from paper boats to square steel plates, it helps the servers bring more in one trip...but this...

This change of not cutting the sandwiches anymore is not recognized by the Reformed Primantiists and is declared anathema - it is a stupid new thing that the suburban locations  are doing that weakens the overall Primantis experience!

Around the World 6: Genoa Salami & Cheese - Get Double Meat

I am going Around the World on the Primantis menu, eating every sandwich, in order.

Sixth is the Genoa Salami & Cheese. I like Genoa Salami, I think it's quite tasty. So I've tried this sandwich before, and I learned a lesson: GET DOUBLE MEAT.

The amount of salami they give you is not enough to overcome the taste of the coleslaw and fries. It disappoints. Double meat, however, paints a very different picture.

Why yes, it IS built upside down. That was unintended.

With double meat, it's actually substantial, and it's quite tasty. Very salty, you want something with refills to go with this sammich, but it's delicious.

My server offered to have it remade. I thought that was silly.

Genoa Salami has a great amount of umami, the savory mouthfeel that is so enjoyable. There's a subtle smokiness that you really don't get with other meats, and it's so dense that each bite really packs a whallop. You have to take a moment and enjoy each and every bite. The amount of salt might contribute to that, too though. But how often does anyone get a salami sandwich? It should be more popular. If it was cheaper, maybe it would be. 

The regular sandwich comes with 4 or 5 slices, and that simply isn't enough. Genoa Salami doesn't pack the flavor, it's a lot more subtle than that. It cannot compete with all the other flavors of a Primanti sammich on that scale. It's very disappointing in that way. But, if you get double meat, that slight upcharge makes this absolutely worth it. 

It's good. Give it a chance sometime.

Taste: 6 Genoa Salami isn't known for a bold taste, it's good, but it scores higher elsewhere.

Without double meat: 3

Satisfaction: 7  The salty savory nature leaves a great mouthfeel

Without double meat: 6

Flavor: 6  Again, not bold, but the overall mouthfeel compensates well. Smoky undertones.

Without double meat: 2 You can't taste it.

Enjoyable: 6  You have to sit and savor this one, because it's a dense meat.

Without double meat: 1 You know you made a mistake, like buying an app's demo rather than the real thing.

Pittsburghness: 4  Genoa Salami is a good ethnic lunchmeat, but it's obscure

Without double meat: 0 No ethnic Mamma is going to let you eat that little.

Should I Get This Sandwich? Only if you get double meat. Even then, it's good, but not amazing. Worth a try, but little more.

Ranking:

Pittsburgher Cheese Steak

Hot Sausage

Genoa Salami (double meat)

Jumbo Baloney

Three Cheese

Egg and Cheese

Around the World 5: Hot Sausage & Cheese - Absolutely Underrated

I am going Around the World on the Primantis menu, eating every sandwich, in order.

Number 5 is the Hot Sausage & Cheese, a sandwich that never popped up on my radar, because I never thought it'd be a great sandwich, but I never thought it'd be pointless (see: Egg and Cheese). I was wrong. This is a good sandwich. I will get this one again.

What a great amount of cheese on there

This is a sandwich to get on the heel. Being in the know can greatly improve your experience here. The hot sausage has some residual sauce, as it should, and I think it would make the bread soggy rather quickly. Having the crust holds all of that in.

The sausage at the bottom is such a unique look. It would be messy without the heel.

This was a really good sandwich. The hot sausage was very flavorful, and it stood out well against the tangy coleslaw and the rich fries. The three elements blended so very well, but unlike a lot of the previous flavors, the sausage taste is distinct and bold.

It tastes like the hot sausage cooked by so many ethnic European parents and grandparents. The spice is not overwhelming, I'd hardly call it spicy, but there is a modest kick to it. I'd consider it more "bold" than "spicy", but your mileage may vary.

There's an adequate amount of meat there, too. I also thought there might be problems with the casing not being easily chewed, and that was no issue at all.

This was tasty. I will definitely get this again, and you should put this on your "to try" list.

Taste: 8  It was bold and flavorful and stood out against the crowd of mediocre sammiches.
Satisfaction: 8  The flavor lingers for a while on the tongue.
Flavor: 9  I'm sure there's better, but this is the best flavor so far.
Enjoyable: 7  Get it on the heel, or else this would probably go way down
Pittsburghness: 7  Nobody ever talks about Pittsburgh as a sausage city, that's a midwest thing, but with how many ethnic groups a strong in the Steel City, from Polish Hill to Deutschtown, it fits.

Should I Get This Sandwich? Yes. Yes you should. I doubt it'll replace your favorite, but it should be a good switch-up.

Ranking:
Pittsburgher Cheese Steak
Hot Sausage
Jumbo Baloney
Three Cheese
Egg and Cheese

Around the World 4 - Jumbo Baloney & Cheese - For Those Who Seek Balogna

I am going Around the World on the Primantis menu, eating every sandwich, in order.

Fourth is the Jumbo Baloney & Cheese. It should be Bologna, but the important word for a Pittsburgher is "Jumbo". Yes, in the local language of Pittsburghese, Jumbo and Bologna are synonyms.

I've certainly never thought of having the Baloney, because it's not a meat that most people seek out. Personally, I grew up getting the same sandwich in every lunch I packed as a child: Bologna and American cheese on a bun. It's not something I look forward to. But, I've had some good fried balogna. It does exist. Last time I was in Cleveland, I had a huge slab of it on a sandwich at a local chain, because cholesterol is still just a theory in the city of sadness.

But it wasn't bad. I will say that much. It wasn't bad.

You can see the baloney curling nicely over the edges

First off, there's meat in there, which is a nice change after the last few pointless sandwiches. 

The problem is, it's the lowest of lunchmeats, balogna, or as they say, baloney. I guess I should go with baloney for the rest of this, maybe there is a difference.  But truly, it's not bad.

But the baloney is rather thin. It's spread out.

The baloney was flavorful and the texture seemed to go with the french fries so well. I think this would've been a little better with double meat. If you're the kind of person who likes baloney, who seeks it out, then you should definitely get this. 

But it's true, the baloney they use is not very thick, but it has a large surface area. It's spread out, and spread far too thin in my opinion. You don't get that baloney flavor in the quantity that you need to in order to compete with the coleslaw. It's not enough. Another slice or two would've made this the perfect Pittsburgh baloney sandwich, but it falls just a bit short.

Get it if you love baloney. Otherwise, look further down the menu.

Taste: 6  Tasty, but the taste is baloney, which is not for everyone.

Satisfaction: 5  It lacks a slice or two more. This would be a much better sammich with a bit more.

Flavor: 6  It's there, but it's not the most robust, and again, that flavor is baloney.

Enjoyable: 7  Yeah, this was pretty good. It's not super special, but it's solid.

Pittsburghness: 3  Only if you know that Jumbo means Balogna. 

Should I Get This Sandwich?  Only if you seek baloney. Otherwise, steer clear. It's good, but baloney is not for everyone.

Ranking:

Pittsburgher Cheese Steak

Jumbo Baloney

Three Cheese

Egg and Cheese