Drew Carey on the Wall of Primantis, a Terrible Misunderstanding of the Brand

I had a friend go to Erie, PA and while he was there he visited the new Primantis location there. I was quite jealous. I went to college in Erie, and I had to get my Primantis fix by MacGuyvering the salad bar in the cafeteria. Now they have their own restaurant location right next door. Buncha crap.

Anyway, I was sent a photo, which I wish I had not deleted in my rage, because no photos seem to exist online.

On that photo, there were numerous Clevelanders painted on the wall. Including Drew Carey, the most proud Clevelander.

This, but with Clevelanders.

It was truly an outrage. The wall at Primantis is meant to enshrine great people from Pittsburgh or who became great in Pittsburgh. 

My personal location in Harmarville doesn't have a painted wall, but rather they have framed photos of starting players from the sports teams at the time of opening. Sure, it's odd to see Alexei Kovalev and Kendrell Bell on the wall, but it really gives a snapshot from a time we don't remember too fondly. It's a nice local touch.

So I called Primantis' corporate offices, and I left an angry voicemail. 

A day or two later, I got a call.

I had a nice conversation with a very nice woman concerning how seriously I take Primantis, and I told her that I've listed Pritmantiism as my religion on various forms. She said that they take customer complaints seriously, and my complaint would get pushed ahead, but I don't think much was done about it. 

I've also talked with other Primantis executives, and we talked about their new locations in Hagerstown, Maryland and Indianapolis, Indiana, and how they have to include local celebrities. 

I disagree.

There are so many Pittsburghers who have been displaced since the Steel Industry left in the 70s and 80s. We are everywhere. There'll always be huge groups of Pittsburghers to support it. Do some research, there are Steelers bars everywhere, as far afield as Peru.

Make Pittsburgh a kitch thing. Make Pittsburgh-kitch into an exportable product. We're a steel town with our own language and an obsession with black and gold, and good drinking. We're already a caricature of ourselves, why not export that across the country? If places like Double Wide Grill can bring the redneck experience, Outback Steakhouse can take us Down Under, Margaritaville can take us to the beach, and Cracker Barrel can take us to the heartland...why can't Primantis take you to Pittsburgh? I think it'd be a great thing that would greatly benefit from their slow expansion plan. Throw some local guys who saw success in Pittsburgh on the wall, sure, wonderful, but don't put freaking Baltimore Ravens and Cleveland Browns up there...that's sacrilege!

Primanti Bros is not a generic sports bar. It is a Pittsburgh sports bar. It should remain as a Pittsburgh sports bar, no matter where it goes, because that's its identity. The history of the restaurant and its signature sammich is as Pittsburgh as black and gold. They need to remember this identity, and honor it, as they continue to spread out and spread the gospel of french fries and coleslaw on a sandwich.

Hey Primantis, don't forget where you came from!