Around the World 16 - Roast Beef & Cheese - Terrifically Underrated

I am going Around the World on the Primantis menu, eating every sandwich, in order.

16th on this list is the Roast Beef & Cheese. Yes, it's a little out of order here, but I assure you I ate it before the Pastrami. How I messed that up, I don't know, but at least the counts make sense again.

The Roast Beef & Cheese is excellent. After having less-than-stellar experiences with other "typical" meats that you see in every restaurant, I was truly satisfied here. The roast beef was flavorful, it was satisfying, there was enough there, and it fit in with the other flavors involved.

Unpretentious, even in its appearance.

I don't think anybody gives the Roast Beef the time of day, and I don't know why. I've said before that people new to Primantis often get the turkey, which I have seen happen numerous times since I published that post. However, Roast Beef doesn't get the same kind of love, and I don't know why. It's a safe name, nd it's very good. 

There's a lot of flavor involved here. You get a hint of smokey on top of the usual beef flavors, and though it's a touch on the salty side, I found it to be remarkably pleasant. I think an egg might improve this, but I have been noticing that double meat DOES NOT fix a lot of problems, so I might try it with this, but I am not sure that it will be better. 

Is it better or worse than the Pittsburgher? I came across this issue when trying to rank them, and I must say that it's a difficult question. They're both beef. they're both flavorful. One is clearly more Pittsburgh-like, one is a delicious lunchmeat. The Pittsburgher is so good because it balances the flavors exquisitely. You taste the burger, coleslaw, and french fries equally. With the Roast Beef, the meat is king, you taste it most. I put the Roast Beef above the Pittsburgher in the ranking for that reason - you order the meat, it should be most important - but for a first-timer or n00b, I think the Pittsburgher is a better choice.

No complaints, it's a solid sammich, and I've already been ordering this when I want something different and milder than my usual picks of spiced deli meats.

Taste: 8 A solid 8. It's not going to overthrow the top shelf, but it's right at their heels

Satisfaction: 8 I feel that there's room for improvement, I want more of that flavor, but idk how.

Flavor: 9 It's delicious, but again, doesn't hold up against capicolas and pastramis

Enjoyable: 8 There is nothing not to like.

Pittsburghness: 6 Nothing shouts Picksburgh about this sammich, but quality is quality.

Should I Get This Sandwich? Yes If you want a safe pick, this is a safe pick.

Ranking:

Capicola (with Egg)

Corned Beef

Capicola

Pastrami

Roast Beef

Pittsburgher Cheese Steak

Kielbasa

Hot Sausage

Genoa Salami (Double Meat)

Jumbo Baloney

Turkey

Rajun Cajun

Triple Cheese

Genoa Salami

Ham

Egg

Bacon, Egg & Cheese

Bacon

Around the World 15 - Rajun Cajun Chicken Breast - No Rajun Here

I am going Around the World on the Primantis menu, eating every sandwich, in order.

15th is the Rajun Cajun Chicken Breast sandwich, something that I wanted to be amazing, an idea that I am all about, and yet...it disappointed.

In there is a package of underwhelming

It's a chicken breast that has been seasoned in Cajun spices, and it simply is not seasoned enough. There's flavor...but it's mostly the chicken. I read "rajun", and with that spelling, I wanted some heat. I would be left wanting. It isn't spicy.

Needs more seasoning

I admit that when I call something spicy, it should be really spicy...but I'm no fire-eater. I love Frank's Red Hot, but Frank's Extra Spicy is inedible to me. So I'm just above average on the kind of spiciness I want. 

This sandwich is not anywhere near my preferred range. Now some people have disagreed with me, that it's plenty spicy. That sometimes you get it with a lot more seasoning and it's excellent then. I have not had that experience. 

In fact, as I've tried various sandwiches with different upgrades (double meat, egg, etc), I might go back to this and tell them to season the hell out of it and see if I get the great sammich others tell me about. 

If you want a pretty basic chicken breast sandwich with just a little bit of zing, there's nothing wrong with this sandwich, but there's nothing above average about it, either.

Taste: 7 It's not off-putting, it's just not what I expected - spicy. It's not spicy.

Satisfaction: 1 It says it's Rajun...it's not. It isn't what it is advertised to be, so I was unsatisfied.

Flavor: 5 It's chicken breast. It's good. There's a hint of seasoning. Nothing more.

Enjoyable: 6 I can't get past how little Rage exists.

Pittsburghness: 0 Pittsburgh might not be the spiciest town, but when we do things, we go all out and do it right. Despite our lack of Cajun influence, we still should represent it properly. This doesn't. It fails to do it Pittsburghly. 

Should I get this Sandwich? No Not until I can do more research and tell you how to ensure a good experience.

Really and truly, this could be dropped from the main menu and nothing would be lost.

Ranking:

Capicola (with Egg)

Corned Beef

Capicola

Pastrami

Pittsburgher Cheese Steak

Kielbasa

Hot Sausage

Genoa Salami (Double Meat)

Jumbo Baloney

Turkey

Rajun Cajun

Triple Cheese

Genoa Salami

Ham

Egg

Bacon, Egg & Cheese

Bacon

Around the World 14 - Corned Beef & Cheese - Could it get Better?

I am going Around the World on the Primantis menu, eating every sandwich, in order.

14th is the Corned Beef & Cheese, and I've known for a long time that this is a truly excellent sandwich. I've always loved corned beef, especially as a brisket, and sliced thin is just as good.

I don't know what they do to corn beef, but it's delicious.

The saltiness of the beef is the perfect item to go with cool, tangy coleslaw and the somewhat bland french fries. It all goes really well together, and the corned beef has a strong flavor that will not hide behind that of the other items. 

Turns out it's cured with rock salt, which are nicknamed "corns", Yummy rock salt.

There is an excellent umami with the richness of the beef; there is a fantastic mouthfeel. Unlike many of these sandwiches with the excellent flavor of salted meats, they definitely give you enough corned beef. There's enough there to be rather filling, and there's enough there to get the real flavor.

In fact, I usually get the corned beef when I go to the Smallman Street location. It's easy, it needs no modification, and it's excellent. 

The only issue that sometimes comes up is that you don't always get a well-put-together sandwich. It's very easy for the corned beef to get piled up right in the middle, and you have to spread it around and make sure you get some meat in every bite. Sometimes it's very easy for this thinly-sliced meat to fall apart and require some reassembly. But, if that's your biggest issue, you've got a pretty good sandwich.

It's fantastic, truly fantastic, and I can't wait to try it with egg to see if it can unseat the only thing that is objectively better than corned beef: capicola boosted by egg.

Taste: 10 It's absolutely delicious and has a strong flavor. Adding an egg might take it to 11.

Satisfaction: 8 Sometimes it gets messy and needs reassembled. It's a scattered meat.

Flavor: 10 The flavor you get is excellent. So tasty.

Enjoyable: 8 Reassembly required.

Pittsburghness: 9 Chicago is usually known for the Irish and their corned beef, but Pittsburgh once had a hockey team named the Shamrocks, so...

Ranking:

Capicola (with Egg)

Corned Beef

Capicola

Pastrami

Pittsburgher Cheese Steak

Kielbasa

Hot Sausage

Genoa Salami (Double Meat)

Jumbo Baloney

Turkey

Triple Cheese

Genoa Salami

Ham

Egg

Bacon, Egg & Cheese

Bacon

Around the World 13 - Pastrami & Cheese - delicious

I am going Around the World on the Primantis menu, eating every sandwich, in order.

13th on the list is the Pastrami and Cheese, the salty brine-cured meat is a deli classic best known in New York City at iconic establishments like Katz's Deli. It's just as delicious in the Pittsburgh treatment, but it sure isn't piled high like it is in the Big Apple.

The highest part is the bread, followed by the french fries. 

Like too many of these sandwiches, there isn't enough meat. It's not by much, but I bet this is perfect with double meat, and I honestly cannot wait to try that. The meat is wonderfully salty, the grease is ideal, and I wish there was simply more to compete with the other flavors inherent in the Primanti sammich.

It's barely visible, but the pastami is there. Make it visible!

Look, I understand that pastrami is a very expensive meat, but I would gladly pay a little more to have more meat there. Increase it by a buck and give me 150% of the pastrami there now. That would be the ideal sandwich. 

It's absolutely worth getting, but it's not what it SHOULD be. That's the whole dilemma, it could be so much better, but it's not. 

The saltiness is fantastic though, and the umami of the pastrami should not be underestimated. This is a meat that simply belongs in a setting like Primantis, and it's definitely a good, solid choice. You'll never hear me doubt someone who orders this.

Even if this time, it gave me quite the stomach ache later on, it was worth it.

Taste: 8 Put more meat on there, it will be better.

Satisfaction: 8 So close to being perfect. I'm curious what effect an egg might have, too.

Flavor: 10 The meat is delicious, when you get that flavor in your mouth, you savor it.

Enjoyable: 9 It's worthwhile. 

Pittsburghness: 7 It's so known as being NYC's meat that we definitely take a back seat.

Should I Get This Sandwich? Yes! This is never a bad choice. Probably the best sandwich to try an extra on there, which I fully intend to do

Ranking:

Capicola (with Egg)

Capicola

Pastrami

Pittsburgher Cheese Steak

Kielbasa

Hot Sausage

Genoa Salami (Double Meat)

Jumbo Baloney

Turkey

Triple Cheese

Genoa Salami

Ham

Egg

Bacon, Egg & Cheese

Bacon

Around the World 12 - Bacon, Egg & Cheese - I Didn't Look Forward to This

I am going Around the World on the Primantis menu, eating every sandwich, in order.

I had the Bacon & Cheese just two sandwiches ago, and it quickly sank to the bottom of the list. It was cheap bacon, and the quantity of it didn't help. It has a metallic aftertaste that just wasn't good. You get better bacon at Wendy's.

Adding egg is a bandaid on a bullet wound.

It's under there...lurking.

Earlier, back when reviewing the oft-maligned Egg & Cheese, I said that this would be the good breakfast sammich at Primantis. I take that back.

First off, it's the same price as the Bacon & Cheese. Egg is $.50 more. So they had to take off $.50 worth of bacon to maintain that price. Usually, less bacon would be bad - it certainly had less crunch, but here, it wasn't much of a loss.

Darn tomato falling everywhere...

The bad bacon, again, this is a really cheap sub-fast-food bacon that does alright when it's crumbled over nacho cheese on fries. It does not do well on its own. Egg is not enough to stop that.

Bacon, egg, and cheese can only be so bad. I finished the thing, it's not abhorrent. It's better than just bacon. But I don't see the point of this here, especially when you can get a Bacon sandwich and add an egg. 

Think of the ideal breakfast sandwich. Eggs have to be involved, bacon or sausage should be there, a potato product - hashbrowns and homefries are breakfast foods, why not french fries? ...but would you put coleslaw on there? I wouldn't. The crunch is already there from the bacon. It doesn't improve anything, and it usually does. I love the coleslaw the most. But it's a third wheel here. 

Unless it's ridiculously early, don't bother with this one. I wonder if it's much better at the Smallman Street location...I can imagine that a Strip District establishment couldn't get away with using cheap bacon. I might have to try that and revisit this one. Until then, don't bother.

Taste: 1 The egg and less bad bacon deserves one notch up

Satisfaction: 1 The crunch isn't there, but the eggs are heartier

Flavor: 1 Egg is always good. This bacon is not, sadly.

Enjoyable: 1 The only sandwich that might be made worse with coleslaw

Pittsburghness: 1 Bacon, Egg, & Cheese can be found anywhere. If coleslaw is worse for a sandwich, that's anti-Pittsburgh

Should I Get This Sandwich? No. If you're really hard up for a breakfast sandwich, maybe.

Ranking:

Capicola

Pittsburgher Cheese Steak

Kielbasa

Hot Sausage

Genoa Salami (Double Meat)

Jumbo Baloney

Turkey

Triple Cheese

Ham

Egg

Bacon, Egg & Cheese

Bacon

Around the World 11: Turkey Breast & Cheese - Outsiders' Choice

I am going Around the World on the Primantis menu, eating every sandwich, in order.

11th on the list, the Turkey Breast & Cheese. Oddly enough, whenever I take someone who doesn't usually do Primantis, or is an outsider visiting the Steel City, this is BY FAR the most common sandwich they choose. It must seem like a safe choice - a burger is common, there's a lot of exotic lunchmeats that could be intimidating, and then there's some sausage-based options that aren't for everyone. Since there is no chicken option (another thing I find odd), turkey is a solid, safe option that can't be that bad, no matter what they think of the fries and coleslaw.

It IS safe and solid. It's tasty.

Pictured: Safety.

The turkey itself is quite good. It's flavorful, it's very lean, and though it isn't the thickest thing, it's quality turkey.  The other flavors don't compliment it that well. The vinegar-based coleslaw and the turkey seem to be at odds. Your bites get the flavor of one or the other. They don't blend as well as many of the other options.

The turkey is the same color as the bread, but it's there.

The flavors don't compliment each other, and the contrast between them isn't beneficial. It was by no means bad, but none of the flavors helped each other out.

Look, if you want something safe, but you want the proper experience, get the Pittsburgher. If you want the real experience, get the Capicola. If you want something thoroughly Pittsburgh, get the Kielbasa. If you want an alright sandwich...then get the Turkey. 

Flavor: 6 Each piece is good, together they are exactly the sum of their parts

Satisfaction: 6 There's nothing wrong with this sandwich.

Taste: 6 The turkey is flavorful, the coleslaw is flavorful, together, it's alright.

Enjoyableness: 6 It's solid, it's a good sandwich.

Pittsburghness: 0 This is as far as you can get from the Pittsburgh experience while still tasting good

Should I Get This Sandwich? You shouldn't not get this sandwich, which is different than endorsing this sandwich. It's acceptable, but there are many better options.

Ranking:

Capicola

Pittsburgher Cheese Steak

Kielbasa

Hot Sausage

Genoa Salami (Double Meat)

Jumbo Baloney

Turkey

Triple Cheese

Ham

Egg

Bacon

Around the World 10 - Bacon & Cheese - Great Smell, Bad Sandwich

I am going Around the World on the Primantis menu, eating every sandwich, in order.

Tenth on the list is the Bacon & Cheese. I'll be honest, I was looking forward to this sammich.

When it was brought to the table, it smelled so good. The best smelling sandwich yet. That fantastic bacon aroma permeated the air. I was so looking forward to this, because who doesn't love bacon?

Smelled so good. You're missing out on the smell here.

But one bite shattered that image.

It wasn't good bacon. It was very cheap bacon. It was very bad bacon. Wendy's has better bacon.

Pictured: bad bacon

No really, Wendy's has better bacon. I think McDonalds might have slightly better bacon. This bacon is passable when it's crumbled over fries slathered with cheese. It is not ok on its own.

There's an artificial taste to start with, a flavorless crunch in the middle, and a metallic aftertaste. The crunch is the only good part of all of this. 

This was the worst experience I've had yet, and this includes the incomplete Egg & Cheese sandwich.

Taste: 0 This was bad, metallic tasting cheap bacon.

Satisfaction: 1 The crunch was interesting

Flavor: 0 I disliked it greatly

Enjoyable: 1 If you can stomach really cheap bacon...

Pittsburghness: 2 I guess it IS a bacon sandwich...even if it's bad...it's still bacon

Should I Get This Sandwich? No, under no circumstances. If you really want cheap bacon, get the Bacon, Egg & Cheese. This should be replaced with a Chipped Ham Sandwich, pronto.

Ranking:

Capicola

Pittsburgher Cheese Steak

Kielbasa

Hot Sausage

Genoa Salami (Double Meat)

Jumbo Baloney

Triple Cheese

Ham

Egg

Bacon

Drew Carey on the Wall of Primantis, a Terrible Misunderstanding of the Brand

I had a friend go to Erie, PA and while he was there he visited the new Primantis location there. I was quite jealous. I went to college in Erie, and I had to get my Primantis fix by MacGuyvering the salad bar in the cafeteria. Now they have their own restaurant location right next door. Buncha crap.

Anyway, I was sent a photo, which I wish I had not deleted in my rage, because no photos seem to exist online.

On that photo, there were numerous Clevelanders painted on the wall. Including Drew Carey, the most proud Clevelander.

This, but with Clevelanders.

It was truly an outrage. The wall at Primantis is meant to enshrine great people from Pittsburgh or who became great in Pittsburgh. 

My personal location in Harmarville doesn't have a painted wall, but rather they have framed photos of starting players from the sports teams at the time of opening. Sure, it's odd to see Alexei Kovalev and Kendrell Bell on the wall, but it really gives a snapshot from a time we don't remember too fondly. It's a nice local touch.

So I called Primantis' corporate offices, and I left an angry voicemail. 

A day or two later, I got a call.

I had a nice conversation with a very nice woman concerning how seriously I take Primantis, and I told her that I've listed Pritmantiism as my religion on various forms. She said that they take customer complaints seriously, and my complaint would get pushed ahead, but I don't think much was done about it. 

I've also talked with other Primantis executives, and we talked about their new locations in Hagerstown, Maryland and Indianapolis, Indiana, and how they have to include local celebrities. 

I disagree.

There are so many Pittsburghers who have been displaced since the Steel Industry left in the 70s and 80s. We are everywhere. There'll always be huge groups of Pittsburghers to support it. Do some research, there are Steelers bars everywhere, as far afield as Peru.

Make Pittsburgh a kitch thing. Make Pittsburgh-kitch into an exportable product. We're a steel town with our own language and an obsession with black and gold, and good drinking. We're already a caricature of ourselves, why not export that across the country? If places like Double Wide Grill can bring the redneck experience, Outback Steakhouse can take us Down Under, Margaritaville can take us to the beach, and Cracker Barrel can take us to the heartland...why can't Primantis take you to Pittsburgh? I think it'd be a great thing that would greatly benefit from their slow expansion plan. Throw some local guys who saw success in Pittsburgh on the wall, sure, wonderful, but don't put freaking Baltimore Ravens and Cleveland Browns up there...that's sacrilege!

Primanti Bros is not a generic sports bar. It is a Pittsburgh sports bar. It should remain as a Pittsburgh sports bar, no matter where it goes, because that's its identity. The history of the restaurant and its signature sammich is as Pittsburgh as black and gold. They need to remember this identity, and honor it, as they continue to spread out and spread the gospel of french fries and coleslaw on a sandwich.

Hey Primantis, don't forget where you came from!

Around the World 9 - Kielbasa & Cheese - Great Kielbasa, Not Enough of It

I am going Around the World on Primantis menu, eating every sandwich, in order.

Ninth, and through the left half of the menu, is the Kielbasa & Cheese. Oddly enough I was asked about this sandwich when I brought an out-of-town first-timer to Primantis. Unfortunately, I didn't know if this was any good. Now I know, it is, and you'll want more of it.

There is goodness within.

I have an interesting relationship with kielbasa. I like it, but many times the casing on it is far too thick, and trying to rip through it often ruins the experience for me.  That was no problem here.

The kielbasa's flavor is bold and noticed right away. It's so smoky and zesty, and there is a nice savoriness to it, too. It's a very good kielbasa, better than what I've had in the past. Truly delicious.

Leaning tower of Primantis.

As you can see in there, even when it's sliced in half, the kielbasa doesn't cover enough area to reach the ends of the bread. There's an awful lot of bites that is nothing but bread, coleslaw, and french fries. You want more of that flavor, because it's so freaking good, but you can't get it, because it's so limited.

But it's not spicy, oh no, not at all. It's different than the hot sausage in that way, which is far bolder and rather in-your-face. The smoky flavor of kielbasa sits back and lets you come to it.

That's the only real detraction. I don't know that double meat would fix it, because if it were piled on top, it wouldn't change the area it covers, only the thickness. You'd have to ask if they can spread it out a bit, so you get some kielbasa in every bite, and I don't know if that's possible. 

That ceiling on flavor improvement keeps it from surpassing the Pittsburgher, but if you can fix that, it'll be nipping at capicola's heels.

Taste: 10  That flavor, when you get all the pieces, is amazing. Smoky zest and deliciousness.

Satisfaction: 6  I wish so badly that there was more kielbasa, and not thickness, I want it all over the bread to be included in every bite.

Flavor: 9 It takes a hit for those bites that had no meat.

Enjoyable: 6 That frustration of meatless bites makes you very familiar with the coleslaw and bread.

Pittsburghness: 10 Can you get a more Picksburgh n'at meat than kielbasa? It's hard not to say it like Myron Cope, who said it phonetically, rather than the proper way of "ki-bossy".

Should I Get This Sandwich? Yes. Or at least you should certainly consider it. The flavor is great. See if you can solve my surface area problem, and then let me know how you did it. 

Ranking:

Capicola

Pittsburgher Cheese Steak

Kielbasa

Hot Sausage

Genoa Salami (Double Meat)

Jumbo Baloney

Triple Cheese

Ham

Egg

Around the World 8 - Capicola & Cheese - The Best.

I am going Around the World on the Primantis menu, eating every sandwich, in order.

Capicola! Finally! Wonderfully delicious and robust in every way, this is the benchmark of sammich meats.

Underneath all that is heaven.

I am surprised by how many people don't know what capicola is. If you've ever heard an overzealous Italian stereotype raving about food and they said "gabagoooool", this is what they're raving about. Simply put, it's a spiced ham. That's not "spicy ham", it has a nice zing to it and you get a little heat on the tongue, but I don't think anybody would call it spicy. Apparently the preparation process is very different from that of ham, but that's what you really need to know about it. 

This is Capicola. Look at that wonderful marbling.

Look at it! That's art!

Years ago, I was listening to local radio station WDVE and their comedy sketches from their morning show, which features a lot of local flavor. One of them, I do believe it was CSI: Pittsburgh, and one of the characters mentioned eating a capicola and egg sandwich. I decided to try it one day, and I never looked back.

Perhaps the best example of Pittsburghese out there.

This particular sammich doesn't have the egg, but it's still superior. 

The flavor is truly superior. You get that little bit of heat, and it's a slow heat, you feel it on your tongue halfway through a good bite, and it's just enough to make itself known. It's bold, but it isn't in-your-face. Then the coleslaw cools it down. It's a perfect compliment. If you go too quickly, you could miss it. But you shouldn't, because this is a flavor profile worth lingering for.

The savoriness is there, too. It's a ham, and it has nice marbling, so you get all the savory benefits of a really good ham. Include the french fries, and there's all the body you need in a sammich. There's everything you need there.

Taste: 9 The flavor is perfect. Add an egg, and you enhance that profile, which would make it a 10.

Satisfaction: 8 Sometimes you don't get as much capicola as you'd like. Not usually worth getting double meat, most times you get enough. But some cooks get stingy.

Flavor: 10  The meat's flavor is superb, and then you get the coleslaw complimenting it.

Enjoyable: 10 You have to try it.

Pittsburghness: 8  Yeah, it doesn't scream Pittsburgh, but an Italian spiced ham is pretty good.

Should I Get This Sandwich? Yes! Yes absolutely! Get it with an egg to make it even better!

Ranking:

Capicola

Pittsburgher Cheese Steak

Hot Sausage

Genoa Salami (Double Meat)

Jumbo Baloney

Three Cheese

Ham

Egg

Around the World 7 - Ham & Cheese - Pure Disappointment

I am going Around the World on the Primantis menu, eating every sandwich, in order.

Seventh is the Ham & Cheese. What a staple of sandwiches, an absolute classic, and Pittsburgh has a unique history with ham, because we like to have it chipped.

It tastes so much better than it looks.

Chipped Ham is when you take a pressed ham, which is a very processed meat, taking lots of irregular pieces of ham and forcing it all together and binding it into a single slab of meat. It's very popular in old timey ethnic European neighborhoods, especially among Slavic communities. So you take that pressed ham, and you have it shaved, or as it's said in Pittsburgh, chipped. That's slicing it as thin as you possibly can. So thin it's translucent. It starts to rip really easily and the amount of surface area involved enhances the flavor in ways that deny explanation. It's delicious and savory and filling, and great. I've tried to get it in other cities, even when you can find Isaly's pressed ham, but nobody understands why you'd get ham sliced so thin, and they usually struggle to slice it as thinly as you'd like it to be, because they think it's a mistake, but it isn't and when you can get the real stuff, it's great.

So imagine my disappointment when I found the extremely bland ham at Primantis.

I also forgot to get it on the heel. It only made it worse.

There was no flavor there at all. You got a touch more salt because it's ham, but there was no other flavor to it. It might as well have been the egg sandwich again, it was that disappointing.

Behold disappointment.

This was not even a disappointment because there was not enough meat. There wasn't a weak flavor that I wanted more of, there was no flavor at all. Just coleslaw and french fries and the sensation that I was chewing meat, but couldn't taste it. 

I really enjoy ham sandwiches, too. Those post-Christmas and post-Easter leftover ham sandwiches are great. Tear a few pieces off a spiral sliced ham and throw them on bread and you have a good meal. Hell, I like just pulling a peace off and eating it as is. This sandwich failed to capture any of that.

Total disappointment. There was nothing positive to say. It wasn't awful. But it had no flavor. It was pointless.

Taste: 3 It's not there. Might as well get it without meat. I didn't hate it, but it was pointless.

Satisfaction: 3 Disappointment, but it was more satisfying than the Egg and Cheese.

Flavor: 0 It wasn't there. Pointless.

Enjoyable: 2 Why bother?

Pittsburghness: 0 There should be a Chipped Ham Sandwich. THERE SHOULD BE CHIPPED HAM!

Should I Get This Sandwich? No. Under no circumstances is this worth your time.

Ranking:

Pittsburgher Cheese Steak

Hot Sausage

Genoa Salami (Double Meat)

Jumbo Baloney

Three Cheese

Ham

Egg

A Stupid Change - Stabbed Sammiches

For as long as I can remember, Primanti Brothers sandwiches were always featured cut in half, with that wonderful profile displayed for all to see.

I've always figured that the profile was so important, that clean-cut through the middle gives you a much better look at all of the components of the sandwich. It almost towers over the plate when it's cut in half. 

But recently, there's been a major change.

That has been reflected in how they serve the sandwiches, and it drives me absolutely bonkers.

Instead of cutting it in half, giving you a nice clean cut where you see that wonderful profile, they give you a sandwich that's been stabbed in the back like it's Julius Caesar, and you have to cut it yourself. 

Give me a chore, why don't ya?! 

I didn't come here for a some-assembly-required meal, I want it done when I get the plate! Beyond that, whatever cut you are going to make with that steak knife they give you is going to be worse than the nice clean cut of the chefs' knives. It's going to look far far worse. It also introduces silverware that has been previously completely unnecessary. It's food you eat with your hands. You don't need any silverware...oh wait, now everyone needs a knife.

Now I've been used to asking my server to bring my sandwich already cut. If you get your sandwich on the heel, it has always been served as one big piece. I've always liked that little halftime that happens in the middle of the sandwich, it gives you a breather, it makes you take a moment to appreciate your sammich, it provides a thoroughly necessary pause. So I've asked for my sandwich to come "on the heel, cut in half" for a long time now. But now it's necessary for everyone, and those who don't know suddenly get their sandwich with a chore. 

I've been alright with the switch from paper cups to plastic...maybe it saves some trees and they don't have to haul in cases and cases of cups...and there was that one time I watched three consecutive hockey playoff games and I had to be given a new cup because the paper was nearly completely collapsed. I've been ok with the switch from paper boats to square steel plates, it helps the servers bring more in one trip...but this...

This change of not cutting the sandwiches anymore is not recognized by the Reformed Primantiists and is declared anathema - it is a stupid new thing that the suburban locations  are doing that weakens the overall Primantis experience!

Around the World 6: Genoa Salami & Cheese - Get Double Meat

I am going Around the World on the Primantis menu, eating every sandwich, in order.

Sixth is the Genoa Salami & Cheese. I like Genoa Salami, I think it's quite tasty. So I've tried this sandwich before, and I learned a lesson: GET DOUBLE MEAT.

The amount of salami they give you is not enough to overcome the taste of the coleslaw and fries. It disappoints. Double meat, however, paints a very different picture.

Why yes, it IS built upside down. That was unintended.

With double meat, it's actually substantial, and it's quite tasty. Very salty, you want something with refills to go with this sammich, but it's delicious.

My server offered to have it remade. I thought that was silly.

Genoa Salami has a great amount of umami, the savory mouthfeel that is so enjoyable. There's a subtle smokiness that you really don't get with other meats, and it's so dense that each bite really packs a whallop. You have to take a moment and enjoy each and every bite. The amount of salt might contribute to that, too though. But how often does anyone get a salami sandwich? It should be more popular. If it was cheaper, maybe it would be. 

The regular sandwich comes with 4 or 5 slices, and that simply isn't enough. Genoa Salami doesn't pack the flavor, it's a lot more subtle than that. It cannot compete with all the other flavors of a Primanti sammich on that scale. It's very disappointing in that way. But, if you get double meat, that slight upcharge makes this absolutely worth it. 

It's good. Give it a chance sometime.

Taste: 6 Genoa Salami isn't known for a bold taste, it's good, but it scores higher elsewhere.

Without double meat: 3

Satisfaction: 7  The salty savory nature leaves a great mouthfeel

Without double meat: 6

Flavor: 6  Again, not bold, but the overall mouthfeel compensates well. Smoky undertones.

Without double meat: 2 You can't taste it.

Enjoyable: 6  You have to sit and savor this one, because it's a dense meat.

Without double meat: 1 You know you made a mistake, like buying an app's demo rather than the real thing.

Pittsburghness: 4  Genoa Salami is a good ethnic lunchmeat, but it's obscure

Without double meat: 0 No ethnic Mamma is going to let you eat that little.

Should I Get This Sandwich? Only if you get double meat. Even then, it's good, but not amazing. Worth a try, but little more.

Ranking:

Pittsburgher Cheese Steak

Hot Sausage

Genoa Salami (double meat)

Jumbo Baloney

Three Cheese

Egg and Cheese

Around the World 5: Hot Sausage & Cheese - Absolutely Underrated

I am going Around the World on the Primantis menu, eating every sandwich, in order.

Number 5 is the Hot Sausage & Cheese, a sandwich that never popped up on my radar, because I never thought it'd be a great sandwich, but I never thought it'd be pointless (see: Egg and Cheese). I was wrong. This is a good sandwich. I will get this one again.

What a great amount of cheese on there

This is a sandwich to get on the heel. Being in the know can greatly improve your experience here. The hot sausage has some residual sauce, as it should, and I think it would make the bread soggy rather quickly. Having the crust holds all of that in.

The sausage at the bottom is such a unique look. It would be messy without the heel.

This was a really good sandwich. The hot sausage was very flavorful, and it stood out well against the tangy coleslaw and the rich fries. The three elements blended so very well, but unlike a lot of the previous flavors, the sausage taste is distinct and bold.

It tastes like the hot sausage cooked by so many ethnic European parents and grandparents. The spice is not overwhelming, I'd hardly call it spicy, but there is a modest kick to it. I'd consider it more "bold" than "spicy", but your mileage may vary.

There's an adequate amount of meat there, too. I also thought there might be problems with the casing not being easily chewed, and that was no issue at all.

This was tasty. I will definitely get this again, and you should put this on your "to try" list.

Taste: 8  It was bold and flavorful and stood out against the crowd of mediocre sammiches.
Satisfaction: 8  The flavor lingers for a while on the tongue.
Flavor: 9  I'm sure there's better, but this is the best flavor so far.
Enjoyable: 7  Get it on the heel, or else this would probably go way down
Pittsburghness: 7  Nobody ever talks about Pittsburgh as a sausage city, that's a midwest thing, but with how many ethnic groups a strong in the Steel City, from Polish Hill to Deutschtown, it fits.

Should I Get This Sandwich? Yes. Yes you should. I doubt it'll replace your favorite, but it should be a good switch-up.

Ranking:
Pittsburgher Cheese Steak
Hot Sausage
Jumbo Baloney
Three Cheese
Egg and Cheese

Around the World 4 - Jumbo Baloney & Cheese - For Those Who Seek Balogna

I am going Around the World on the Primantis menu, eating every sandwich, in order.

Fourth is the Jumbo Baloney & Cheese. It should be Bologna, but the important word for a Pittsburgher is "Jumbo". Yes, in the local language of Pittsburghese, Jumbo and Bologna are synonyms.

I've certainly never thought of having the Baloney, because it's not a meat that most people seek out. Personally, I grew up getting the same sandwich in every lunch I packed as a child: Bologna and American cheese on a bun. It's not something I look forward to. But, I've had some good fried balogna. It does exist. Last time I was in Cleveland, I had a huge slab of it on a sandwich at a local chain, because cholesterol is still just a theory in the city of sadness.

But it wasn't bad. I will say that much. It wasn't bad.

You can see the baloney curling nicely over the edges

First off, there's meat in there, which is a nice change after the last few pointless sandwiches. 

The problem is, it's the lowest of lunchmeats, balogna, or as they say, baloney. I guess I should go with baloney for the rest of this, maybe there is a difference.  But truly, it's not bad.

But the baloney is rather thin. It's spread out.

The baloney was flavorful and the texture seemed to go with the french fries so well. I think this would've been a little better with double meat. If you're the kind of person who likes baloney, who seeks it out, then you should definitely get this. 

But it's true, the baloney they use is not very thick, but it has a large surface area. It's spread out, and spread far too thin in my opinion. You don't get that baloney flavor in the quantity that you need to in order to compete with the coleslaw. It's not enough. Another slice or two would've made this the perfect Pittsburgh baloney sandwich, but it falls just a bit short.

Get it if you love baloney. Otherwise, look further down the menu.

Taste: 6  Tasty, but the taste is baloney, which is not for everyone.

Satisfaction: 5  It lacks a slice or two more. This would be a much better sammich with a bit more.

Flavor: 6  It's there, but it's not the most robust, and again, that flavor is baloney.

Enjoyable: 7  Yeah, this was pretty good. It's not super special, but it's solid.

Pittsburghness: 3  Only if you know that Jumbo means Balogna. 

Should I Get This Sandwich?  Only if you seek baloney. Otherwise, steer clear. It's good, but baloney is not for everyone.

Ranking:

Pittsburgher Cheese Steak

Jumbo Baloney

Three Cheese

Egg and Cheese

Primantiism - The Denominations and Beliefs

The menu is divided every three sandwiches, so I'll try to include some extra commentary when I complete every section.  The first, the divisions of Primantiism, so you can figure out where you stand in this church of sammiches.

I like to think of Primantiism as a religion, because it has tenets and some things are sacred and should never be broken, and some things are sacrilegious and should never be done. But it's a sandwich religion, that dictates only what kind of bread-surrounded beliefs you should have.

The overall:
Primantiism - The belief that sandwiches should come with vinegar-based coleslaw and french fries directly in the sandwich, which should then be referred to as a sammich. Born in Pittsburgh as a reflection of the blue collar city and its citizens, exported to the rest of the world as an ambassador of our way of life in the Steel City.

But there are many different schools of thought that are included in this, and it is important to identify correctly:

Orthodox Primantiism - These people believe that the Smallman Street location, the original Primanti Bros., is the only true Primantis restaurant. None of the other locations come close to the magic of the original and therefore should be counted. The grease, the murals, the 24 hour service, the extremely scary underground bathrooms, et al., create the perfect experience of blue collar Pittsburgh life, and there's a reason why every time Primantis is shown on television, and it often is, goes to the original spot. It is the opinion of the Reformed Primantiists that these people are right, to an extent, their opinions should be respected, until they refuse to go to another Primantis. Sure, it might not be the same, but the food's still good.

Reformed Primantiism - The beliefs of this blogger. Reformed Primantiism acknowledges the importance of the Smallman Street location as the centerpoint of Primantis. It is a special place and should be revered as such. However, it is cash only, there are fewer people working so special things are more difficult, the refills are slower coming (and used to not exist), and there's often less space, so we accept the suburban locations as a more restaurant-style experience where longer hanging-out can happen and serve as a true extension of the original. However, we want it to be an extension, perhaps a translation of the original, not a significantly different experience. Therefore, changes such as plastic cups (from the original paper), steel plates (as opposed to the paper boats originally used, which is a logical extension of the wax paper used at Smallman Street), and uncut sandwiches stabbed with a knife (as opposed to a nice clean cut) are not accepted under Reformed Primantiism.

Catholic Primantiism - "Catholic" in the sense of the word's meaning of "united", they believe that all of the locations, including the new out-of-state locations as being equal among the suburban locations, no matter what their decor or who they paint on the walls, they are all Primantis, and they are all good. They recognize that the Smallman Street Primantis is the "first among equals" and the best Primantis, but otherwise the rest are all ok. Changes are slowly accepted, the plastic cups were probably a good idea. The steel plates upgrade the experience a bit and are probably better for the servers. The expanded menu gives more opportunities. And so on. They pick and choose and make good judgements over time. They are all for expansion, because it gets the sandwiches to more people, and that's generally a good thing.

United Primantiism - They accept all the expansion and changes because Primantis did it. They believe the Primantis locations to be equal, and that getting a sammich at a suburban location or out of state is as good as getting one in the Strip District. These are people who got a sandwich at a ballpark on a road trip to Pittsburgh and are happy to tell everyone else how great it was. Good for the brand, but this author doesn't believe that they know what all they're missing at Smallman Street.

Baptist Primantiism - Those who are not born into Primantiism, respecting the sammich from birth, but are converted later in life. Often the loudest and the quickest to celebrate the true food, they are a difficult group to keep up with and are often forgotten as one of the controlling sects because of their fervor. These people typically are from somewhere else in the country, but they knew a Pittsburgher, and that Pittsburgher showed them the proper way, in a good place, and showed them the ropes, and they became a believer in the great experience. They are typically not ok with change and reform, because they know the way they experienced it was the right way, and they'd hate for that to change with anyone else.

I'm sure there are others, and if you feel you have a situation that does not fit in with these, please comment and let me know, we'll come up with the correct label and set the record straight!

As always, we close with the rallying cry of the entire city of Pittsburgh,

Go Steelers!

Around the World 3 - Cheese Combo - Not Bad, Still Wouldn't Order

I am going Around the World on the Primantis menu, eating every sandwich, in order.

Third on the list is the Cheese Combo, another sandwich that defies the "double meat" option, because it is meatless. Thankfully, it is the last meatless sandwich on the menu.

Unfortunately, I forgot to ask for it on the heel cut in half...I got too complacent, put too much trust in my favorite server, and it's true, I didn't order what I should have. Oh well. There are worse things.

This presentation, uncut and stabbed in the back, is not accepted by the Reformed Primantiists.

Once again, there's no meat in there. But there is quite a bit of Swiss, American, and Provolone cheese in there. It's nice and stringy and thick, but it's just not the same as meat in there.

See how that bottom piece of bread is almost nonexistent? That's why you get it on the heel.

Honestly, there was a lot of flavor there. I was surprised. Pleasantly surprised. After the "Deluxe" Double Egg and Cheese, which was incredibly bland, this was pretty decent. 

It's the Primantis version of a grilled cheese sandwich. It's gooey, it's thick, it has that perfect amount of chewiness...but it lacks the punch of protein. When you'd get bites that didn't have much coleslaw, it actually tasted like cheese fries in sandwich form. Like, french fries, slathered in cheese, on bread. That's a good flavor. It was quite tasty. But it just wasn't better than anything with meat or a protein on it. 

Look, if it's a Friday in Lent and you can't have meat, and you don't like fish, this would be a good choice. It's probably the best vegetarian option, in my opinion (but, full disclosure, I haven't had the colossal fish sandwich yet), but otherwise, there's no reason to get this. 

This was a good sandwich...but I'd still never order it again.

Taste: 6 Good...but not great. No real wow factor, and it isn't going to overtake much.

Satisfaction: 2 No meat, not much body...it's just cheese. That's not enough.

Flavor: 7 It actually packs a good flavor, and in some bites, it was fantastic.

Enjoyable: 5 Only because of those moments where it tasted like cheese fries

Pittsburghness: 1 Cheese is good, but cheese is a Wisconsin thing, not a Pittsburgh thing. We're a meat-and-potatoes (usually wrapped in pasta dough) kind of city...this is not a sammich.

Should I get this sandwich? No. Unless you really want cheese or you're in a vegetarian non-fish situation, there's no reason to do this when so many other good things are on the menu.

Around the World 2 - Deluxe Double Egg & Cheese - Do People Order This?

I am going Around the World on the Primantis menu, through every sandwich, in order.

Second on the menu is the Deluxe Double Egg & Cheese. Sandwiches like this are why I waited so long to start a project like this: It just didn't seem all that appealing. My first thoughts were, "what if I order an egg on it? Would they do it? Deluxe Triple Egg & Cheese?" and "What if I get double meat? does egg count as a meat? It usually doesn't during Lent. Is that the Deluxe Quadruple Egg and Cheese, or does it simply not happen?"

But I ordered it anyway, and this is it:

There's egg under all that

It's your standard Primanti sandwich, but instead of meat, there was a bunch of fried egg. As someone who is used to getting egg on their sandwich, it seemed like there truly was something missing...namely a meat flavor. Egg brings out other flavors on a sandwich typically. I didn't think it brought out the coleslaw or french fry flavors, those flavors certainly didn't make much of an appearance like what you saw with the Pitts-burger. 

There's just no meat there.

I'll admit, after the first half of the sandwich, I slathered it in Red Devil Hot Sauce, which made it at least a bit better. I was in search of flavor, and I simply wasn't getting it. 

It was bland. There's no way around it. If you were there for breakfast, this might be a good sandwich...but there are options with bacon and eggs, which have to be better than this. The only reason to order this is if you're a vegetarian who doesn't mind eggs...which I don't think is common (though I could be wrong, I really don't know), or if it's Lent and you really don't like fish. 

It wasn't a bad sandwich, but I won't be ordering it again.

Taste: 5 It wasn't bad, just bland. Egg alone isn't enough for this kind of sandwich.

Satisfaction: 2 I had to add hot sauce just to get flavor, and egg doesn't stay together well. It was difficult to keep this sandwich in one piece, which did not help the overall experience.
Flavor: 1 I can't imagine a sandwich from this place with less taste. Again, not bad, just absent.
Enjoyable: 3 If it were bad, it'd be less enjoyable. But this was certainly not enjoyable.
Pittsburghness: 0 This sandwich is no sammich, Western PA has a lot more flavor than this.

Overall: 3 Not awful, but certainly not good

Should I get this sandwich? No. There's no real reason to get this. Look elsewhere on the menu.